Onefin's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[escalate]

Dude, this sounds really good! It sounds super original and awesome! I feel like you could have elaborated on some of the cooler sounds, like the upward moving arp at 3:14. Also the ending could have been less abrupt and more of a conclusive finish. Good work, though!

DjDragonfire responds:

Thanks so much and you are right that arp did need to be elaborated and the end was abrupt thanks for the feedback! ;]

[Singleton (Original Mix)]

R4R

Truly the best part about this is the atmosphere, so I'll start with that. The mysterious and somewhat creepy vibe this track gives is really nice! You've achieved that with an excellent use of reverb, subbass, and intriguing sounds. Paired along with an awesomely clear master? Yes.

Other great things include the percussion, your sound design (especially the bells at 2:34 and the soundscapes), and of course, mixing and mastering.

Now, my biggest critique: lack of cohesive melody. The guy below me said the same thing, and I'll repeat him. I feel like this track would have been really tied together with an awesome melody. There are plenty of places where I could see melodies fit, like the part at 0:57 and 5:20.

Other complaints include mediocre transitions (the percussion entrance and the transition at 3:36 were quite sudden), lack of chord structure variation, and the inconclusive ending.

Overall, this track has a solid ambient feel to it, and is overall pretty cool! A few minor details need some attention here and there, but I'd say I'm impressed! 4/5

MaxPoly responds:

I fully intend to focus on melody a little more for now on. I don't plan on coming back to this, but I'll definitely keep this in mind for future tracks.

I'm also getting better at transitions bit by bit, it's never been a strong suit of mine from the beginning. I've had significant trouble cobbling a song together with more than one section, let along a full 7-minute track. This was kind of a rare moment of productivity for me, and I'm trying to keep releasing finished stuff as momentum, if that makes sense.

Thanks for the review!

[crystal grove]

Did you know that by rating your own song a 5 right after you release it puts it on the brand spankin' new audio board and allows for at least three times more views and even a review, if you're lucky? :)

DjDragonfire responds:

No I didn't :) I was wondering how long it would take for this song to get rated thanks

[Overpowered]

R4R

Yeses:
- Fullness of sound. You've achieved a great amount of depth that I don't see often in R4R.
- Beginning. What happens in the beginning is really cool and original!
- Synths. A lot of your synths are really awesome!
- Beginning drums. The bongos and snaps and stuff sound really nice!
- Melody. This is more of a "meh", but at least they were there and kind of okay.
- Atmosphere. It's not really "epic" or "overpowered", but it certainly is energizing and robotic!

Nos:
- Repetition. The same chord progression is repeated throughout without any change, and certain parts repeat exactly as they were before. Overall, not enough variation to keep things interesting for a long time.
- Drop drums. I hear some defaults in there. Don't use them.
- Uneventful transitions. This is something I have to work on, too, so I won't judge you too hard on it. Overall you could spice things up by adding in some more interesting transition sounds.
- Fadeout ending. I'm not one of them, but a lot of people will go insane when someone uses fadeout endings. Just a word of advice.
- 16 plays. Wow.

Musiken responds:

Probably the most useful review I've had on my works. Thank you very much!

I totally understand what you mean too. Repetition is certainly an aspect I've tried to change. I tend to choose chords and stick to them. For the fadeout, I understand the hate. I usually avoid it but I just couldn't find a way to end it, it never worked out even after hours of work. Lesson learnt though.
As for the views, I'm already on a few other sites which makes the low views on here not that bothering. As long as I get constructive reviews, I'm a happy man!

Thanks again :)

[Le Voyage]

Review for review just for Azhthar

Right off the bat, the sounds were pristine. Concertina thing, yes. Piano, yes. Bass thingy, yes. Glock thing, yes. Strings, fun. As you can tell, I am not completely professional in my instrumentation knowledge. Bear with me.

Melodies. I can't say they're really really good, but they're not bad! They're not extremely catchy, but it does reflect the mood pretty well. Well, might as well talk about the atmosphere now that I've mentioned it. The right combination of instruments, dynamics, style, and melodic content bring out something I wouldn't call dreamy, but more of a delicate, light style. I like it.

The last thing I will commend you for is the ending. I liked the way you ended it, it seriously promotes the theme of the whole thing and gives your song a nice finishing touch! Bravo!

Now, complaints. After the first minute I was getting seriously bored. In my mind, I was thinking, "Is anything going to happen?" Finally, at 1:15, you gave me the entrance of a glock, followed shortly by strings. But even then, nothing really happens. The only real change occurs at 02:51, where a suspended cymbal just barely does its job into a bigger section.

Well, I mentioned it, let's talk about that transition. The suspended cymbal does no good. It's a combination of two things. One, the cymbal roll itself was not nearly loud enough. Two, that cymbal had rolled before, and it brought up nothing, leading the listener (me) to think that if it happens again, it will also lead to nothing.

Overall, this is a solid piece! The melodies and the instruments work together to create a beautiful mood fitting of the name "Le Voyage". But despite all that, the song quickly becomes a bit boring; some more dynamic changes would help with that. Good work! 5/5, 9/10

Azhthar responds:

Hey! Thanks for the review! Actually if I read it it´s quite critically (which is good) and I was surprised that you gave it such a high rating afterwards. So... For the variations I was trying something different here. What I usually do with my tracks is to develop them all the time. This is another extreme and might be a problem because there is nothing that sticks to the listener afterwards. So I tried to be a bit more minimalistic here and it ended in some repetition... For the transitions: I had a completely different percussion part in my first version. It was more experimental and had much more variations but actually I didn´t like it at all, because it didn´t fit into the mood of the piece. Anyway... Thanks again for the review! It´s much better to get some critics instead of just praising because it helps for the next piece. Keep it up and thanks for taking your time to listen.

[Be gay in the manliest way (TBAP REMASTER)]

I swear this is a Geometry Dash song...

This does fix a lot of issue :) it's way louder and more awesomer! but you messed up the ending. :(

TheBetterAudioPortal responds:

No I didn't.

[Be Gay in the Manliest Way]

As much as I am opposed to the title, I'll do R4R

DnB songs, for me, are all about the beat. What's a DnB song without good drums? And I can't fault you (or you guys? i can't tell if you're more than one person) much in that regard. The drums provide a solid beat which keeps the piece driving! Although I would have liked them a bit louder.

This track isn't without character! Through the sounds, the transitions, and everything in between, this track puts out a distinct personality. I like it!

The pluck at 0:48 is really cool! From there, the sounds you introduce are also pretty cool! Overall, the breakdown section and the stuff coming directly after it is really nice! Your bigger moments, however, could use a bit more. I felt the little "drop" part at 0:32 could have used some bigger sounds not only do differentiate it from the part before it, but to make it less underwhelming overall. If you had made your crash louder, layered something else onto the plucked arp riff, and used a bigger, fuller sound for that lead riff, it might have stood out more. A similar thing happens near the mid-end portion.

Hm... that's pretty much all I have to say. The track is great, but it needs some more awesomeness in certain places. That would make it stand out more, in my opinion. 5/5, 9/10

Noisysundae responds:

Blame TheBetterAudioPortal for making me call it like that. The original piece was titled "\Ur\Gay". :P

I'm one person but used the pronoun 'we' to give the atmosphere of an ice cream shop. The note about the drums volume is taken. Thanks.

If you want to do that. Lead synth in 0:48 is a simple triangle wave with a bit of square. All done in 3xOsc. Lowpass filter in the beginning makes it sound like a sine wave. Unfortunately, this was supposed to be a mock-up of the original for NGDIC2 contest so I can't change the composition that much. (Actually, I can change it since this isn't my submission for that anymore but I was already tired from my exam week. :( ) The lead in 1:30...ummm...it was louder before mastering and I decided to cut it down. I will consider making it a bit more dominant next time.

Thank you very much for the details. :)

[Cloud 9]

R4R stuff.

First off, things I liked:

Sound design is good in that it doesn't sound like a 2008s song.
Melodic ideas aren't bad, especially the riff at 0:28.
You have a good sense of bass. I heard a lot of low end, something a lot of songs lack.

Next, things I feel could have been better:

Your song is pretty quiet. For something like this, I feel a bit more could have been achieved.
I felt the buildup at 1:00 was cool, but the part directly after it didn't do justice to all the tension built in that moment. This is partly because your sound is so quiet.
This song could have benefited from slightly better instrumentation. I felt some sounds in here didn't quite do the melodic ideas justice. For example, I felt the chord pluck sound in the beginning could have been shorter and more staccato
More interesting things could have happened in this song. The first thing that comes to mind is the use of stereo, in that there was none. Panning is a great way to give your sound more depth.
Ultimately the sound gets dull after a while. Even after the first listen, the sounds quickly become uninteresting. This is probably a combination of all of the factors above, plus the fact that you repeated the same thing a lot.

I guess there are some pointers for you. Keep composing!

Drewpy responds:

Thank you so much for your detailed response! I'll look out for these things the next time I make a song, and I appreciate this so much.

[toxic steam]

Dude. You need more views. NOW.

DjDragonfire responds:

Thanks I am working on a few new songs with launchpad (what this song was made on) and FL Studios (what I just got) thank you so much for supporting me! :)

[joarZ - Vengeance]

For a fellow Geometry Dasher, I'll leave a review.

First off I want to say, this was a pleasant surprise! Normally I find songs written by Geometry Dash players to be rather empty and repetitive, with nothing interesting happening. This one, though, is a bit different. While it still may be repetitive, it isn't empty.

Your sound design isn't bad! You know what makes a lead big and strong, as demonstrated by your drops. You also make good use of filters on those sounds for buildup! You have good sweep up sounds, as well, something that a lot of Geometry Dash players lack in their compositions. Not to mention your plucks and pads, as well.

Transitions. Go, you. Your use of transitional elements is fantastic, making different parts of the piece come together as one track perfectly and seamlessly. As that is something I need serious work on, I commend you. Good job! :D

The main melody here is nice. It's really catchy! Hm, I guess that's all there is to say about it, since there only is one melody.

Let's talk about that. Repetition. One thing I feel you need to work on. Repeating the same thing over and over again doesn't cut it. When a song is repetitive, at least for me, I quickly lose interest in it. This is especially so for a song fitting for Geometry Dash, where hearing it over and over again can put it on my "Geometry Dash songs I hate" list due to sheer overuse. I would work on making your tracks with less of the same thing over and over again. Introduce some melodic variation. Do something interesting. I don't know.

Other complaints. You had a nice ending until you decided to put a 5-note pluck riff where it doesn't belong. I think your ending would have been nicer had you omitted that 5-note pluck riff.

Your drums could have used more oomph, especially the kick. Right now they're kind of buried in the mix, which gives your song less power and impact. Also it makes it really hard for me to determine whether or not you side-chained anything, because your kick is nearly inaudible.

I feel like your bassline could have been voiced better. Instead of going up from E to A, you could have gone down to make A -> C less of a jump. Also the high A stands out over all the other notes played by the bass. Your bass sound could also have been louder and more on top of the mix. Bass is important. ;)

I have a feeling you were trying to imitate EnV when you made this. Problem is, copying EnV's style doesn't make your work exactly original. There's nothing that speaks to me as this song being yours more than it being EnV's.

Overall, this is a solid track! You have a nice, catchy melody which sticks to the listener for a long time, and your sounds sound better than that of most Geometry Dash players. However, unoriginality and repetitiveness make your song rather uninteresting in the long run. That being said, I enjoyed your track a lot! 5/5, 9/10, hope this helps!

JoarZ responds:

Wow! Thanks for the long time you spent in writing this feedback!
And yes you're right that its quite repitive, and not as original as other tracks out there (probs mainroom house fault xD).
And a big thanks for the positive feedback also! :D